What
Buddhists Believe
Venerable K. Sri Dhammananda Maha Thera
---o0o---
Chapter 12 -
Marriage, Birth Control And Death
Buddhist
Views on Marriage
In Buddhism, marriage is regarded as
entirely a personal, individual concern and not as a religious duty.
Marriage
is a social convention, an institution created by man for the well-being
and happiness of man, to differentiate human society from animal life and
to maintain order and harmony in the process of procreation. Even though
the Buddhist texts are silent on the subject of monogamy or polygamy, the
Buddhist laity is advised to limit themselves to one wife. The Buddha did
not lay rules on married life but gave necessary advice on how to live a
happy married life. There are ample inferences in His sermons that it is
wise and advisable to be faithful to one wife and not to be sensual and to
run after other women. The Buddha realized that one of the main causes of
man's downfall is his involvement with other women (Parabhava Sutta).Man
must realize the difficulties, the trials and tribulations that he has to
undergo just to maintain a wife and a family. These would be magnified
many times when faced with calamities. Knowing the frailties of human
nature, the Buddha did, in one of His precepts, advise His followers of
refrain from committing adultery or sexual misconduct.
The Buddhist views on
marriage are very liberal: in Buddhism, marriage is regarded entirely as
personal and individual concern, and not as a religious duty. There are no
religious laws in Buddhism compelling a person to be married, to remain as
a bachelor or to lead a life of total chastity. It is not laid down
anywhere that Buddhists must produce children or regulate the number of
children that they produce. Buddhism allows each individual the freedom to
decide for himself all the issues pertaining to marriage. It might be
asked why Buddhist monks do not marry, since there are no laws for or
against marriage. The reason is obviously that to be of service to
mankind, the monks have chosen a way of life which includes celibacy.
Those who renounce the worldly life keep away from married life
voluntarily to avoid various worldly commitments in order to maintain
peace of mind and to dedicate their lives solely to serve others in the
attainment of spiritual emancipation. Although Buddhist monks do not
solemnize a marriage ceremony, they do perform religious services in order
to bless the couples.
Divorce
Separation or
divorce is not prohibited in Buddhism though the necessity would scarcely
arise if the Buddha's injunctions were strictly followed. Men and women
must have the liberty to separate if they really cannot agree with each
other. Separation is preferable to avoid miserable family life for a long
period of time. The Buddha further advises old men not to have young wives
as the old and young are unlikely to be compatible, which can create undue
problems, disharmony and downfall (Parabhava Sutta).
A society grows
through a network of relationships which are mutually inter-twined and
inter-dependent. Every relationship is a whole hearted commitment to
support and to protect others in a group or community. Marriage plays a
very important part in this strong web of relationships of giving support
and protection. A good marriage should grow and develop gradually from
understanding and not impulse, from true loyalty and not just sheer
indulgence. The institution of marriage provides a fine basis for the
development of culture, a delightful association of two individuals to be
nurtured, and to be free from loneliness, deprivation and fear. In
marriage, each partner develops a complementary role, giving strength and
moral courage to one another, each manifesting a supportive and
appreciative recognition of the other's skills. There must be no thought
of either man or woman being superior -- each is complementary to the
other, a partnership of equality, exuding gentleness, generosity, calm and
dedication.
Birth Control,
Abortion and Suicide
Although man has
freedom to plan his family according to his own convenience, abortion is
not justifiable.
There is no reason for
Buddhists to oppose birth control. They are at liberty to use any of the
old or modern measures to prevent conception. Those who object to birth
control by saying that it is against God's law to practise it, must
realize that their concept regarding this issue is not reasonable. In
birth control what is done is to prevent the coming into being of
an existence. There is no killing involved and there is no akusala
kamma. But if they take any action to have an abortion, this action is
wrong because it involves taking away or destroying a visible or invisible
life. Therefore, abortion is not justifiable.
According to the Teachings
of the Buddha, five conditions must be present to constitute the evil act
of killing. They are:
- a living being
- knowledge or awareness it is a living being
- intention of killing
- effort to kill, and
- consequent death
When a female
conceives, there is a being in her womb and this fulfills the first
condition. After a couple of months, she knows that there is a new life
within her and this satisfies the second condition. Then for some reason
or other, she wants to do away with this being in her. So she begins to
search for an abortionist to do the job and in this way, the third
condition is fulfilled. When the abortionist does his job, the fourth
condition is provided for and finally, the being is killed because of that
action. So all the conditions are present. In this way, there is a
violation of the First Precept 'not to kill', and this is tantamount to
killing a human being. According to Buddhism, there is no ground to say
that we have the right to take away the life of another.
Under certain
circumstances, people feel compelled to do that for their own convenience.
But they should not justify this act of abortion as somehow or other they
will have to face some sort of bad karmic results. In certain countries
abortion is legalized, but this is to overcome some problems. Religious
principles should never be surrendered for the pleasure of man. They stand
for the welfare of the whole mankind.
Committing
Suicide
Taking one's own life
under any circumstances is morally and spiritually wrong. Taking one's own
life owing to frustration or disappointment only causes greater suffering.
Suicide is a cowardly way to end one's problems of life. A person cannot
commit suicide if his mind is pure and tranquil. If one leaves this world
with a confused and frustrated mind, it is most unlikely that he would be
born again in a better condition. Suicide is an unwholesome or unskillful
act since it is encouraged by a mind filled with greed, hatred and
delusion. Those who commit suicide have not learnt how to face their
problems, how to face the facts of life, and how to use their mind in a
proper manner. Such people have not been able to understand the nature of
life and worldly conditions.
Some people sacrifice
their own lives for what they deem as a good and noble cause. They take
their own life by such methods as self-immolation, bullet-fire, or
starvation. Such actions may be classified as brave and courageous.
However, from the Buddhist point of view, such acts are not to be
condoned. The Buddha has clearly pointed out that the suicidal states of
mind lead to further suffering.
-ooOoo-
Previous
Page Contents Next
Page
---o0o---
Source: Buddhist
Study and Practice Group, http://www.sinc.sunysb.edu/Clubs/buddhism/
---o0o---
Layout: Chan Duc - Nguyen Thao
Update : 01-11-2002
