And Other Essays
by Dorothy Figen
For inspiration to write this little booklet
I wish to thank my good friend and teacher, Anagarika Tibbotuwawa. I also wish to thank my
husband for his kindly suggestions and excellent editing.
May all beings be well and happy!
Beginning Insight Meditation
For the beginning meditator I believe it would be helpful to establish
an order in the various steps taken in meditation. First, then, it would be wise to
establish a place of quiet to which one may retire daily and not be interrupted in his
endeavors. Then wash carefully face, hands and feet. Better yet, if time permits, take a
cleansing shower and put on loose, comfortable clothes. It is wise to meditate at the same
time daily to establish a habit. I do it at 6 a.m. and 6 p.m. when the birds begin to
retire in the evening. Then when you begin to meditate consider your posture. With spine
erect and a spirit of awareness be mindful of sitting without strain but with complete
alertness. Now you are ready to begin. But, first, some introductory thoughts.
As Sujata states in his little book Beginning to See,
"Meditation is the best thing you can do for yourself." However, it is far from
the simple thing it may seem to beginners. It takes a strong urge to peer deeply within
oneself and beyond it. It takes discipline and willingness to go farther than merely
trying to escape or sidestep personal problems one may have.
Why meditate? There are many reasons. But those that stand out most
strongly are learning to think clearly, and to dispel ignorance, illusion, greed, hatred
and craving. This is the road to Nirvana or Nibbana through which one must lose all
clinging to "self." The feeling of having a self is highly resistant to
extinguishing. It is persistent and devious. Often one may feel it has vanished only to
have it crop up again. Only by diligence and persistence -- and the road for many may be
long -- can victory over it be achieved.
You are seated now, cross-legged on the floor, in a quiet chamber. In
lotus position, if you can, or in half-lotus, or even on a chair if disability precludes
otherwise. Keep your head erect and balanced lightly on your shoulders. Still, do not
strain; be comfortable, relaxed and attentive.
The first stages of meditation should be simply observation of breath.
Concentrate on the nostrils where the breath flows in... out... in... out. Be aware of the
touch of air as it strikes the passage through the nostrils. In fact be aware of
everything and nothing. This sounds contradictory. Yet it is really not. For this is no
time to daydream, to entertain vagrant and migratory thoughts. You are aware of your
physical posture. Then you forget that also. You are aware that the past is dead, that it
is gone. Yet specific consciousness of your whole preceding life is absent. The future
does not yet exist. All you have is "right now"... the in... out... in... out
rhythm of the breath of life.
The idea is to "empty the mind," to get rid of all
"garbage," all fleeting and intruding thoughts. Simply to breathe -- in out --
in out, never forcing the breath. You are not even the breather, but the breathing
breathing you, the you, which as time goes on, will grow more and more vague as it begins
to dissipate, disappear.
Just allow the mind to feel the "touch" of breath as it flows
in and flows out. In your first sessions think of nothing more. You will find the breath
thinning out as it becomes more subtle and finer until in time you begin to feel you are
not breathing at all. This is the calming of the breath flow. It becomes very pleasant and
I keep a candle burning in the meditation chamber. It serves two
purposes, maybe three. At first, if the mind wanders, it serves as a point of focus. The
eyes, at first observing the candle, soon close, lightly, easily, by themselves. But even
through closed lids one feels the presence of the light. One can see it in one's mind's
eye. It restores the mind's wandering back to the present. The second purpose is symbolic:
to me it signifies the Light of the Dhamma, the doctrine on which the meditation is
based. And finally, it makes for a pleasant, lovely atmosphere. Incense, flowers, Buddha
sculpture are nice but really not necessary. One can, in truth, meditate anywhere,
any quiet place where there can be no interruption. Wherever you meditate, if it is at
home and you have a telephone, it is wise to remove the receiver to avoid incoming calls.
Bear in mind that the place of meditation is not of key importance, but
it is wise to return to the same place at the same time daily so that the habit of
meditating becomes established. The Buddha meditated under a Bodhi tree where he achieved
enlightenment. An advanced meditator can choose almost any place and it will serve his
purpose -- a crowded market place, a burial ground, a cave, a park or a refuse dump. In
his inward turning he becomes totally oblivious of his surroundings; or, contrariwise,
makes the very surroundings, as he advances deeper and deeper into meditating, the subject
of his thoughts. The important thing to remember is that these thoughts must be schooled
and channeled. They must be kept "on center."
But you, now, are still in your beginning stages. Untoward thoughts
will persist in entering your mind. This is only natural. You will be amazed at how many
and how trivial these intrusions can be. You must learn, however, to treat these intruders
with courtesy. Do not shove them away in anger. Be gentle, kindly. Label each one -- past
-- present -- future? Worthy? Unworthy? Animosity? Vanity? Desire? Egotism? Your very act
of branding them will assist in their cessation. As they begin to disappear, your mind
will gently return to your nostrils, your breathing. It will grow quieter and quieter.
Other hindrances will obtrude themselves. Noises will penetrate your
consciousness -- children playing and shouting, buses or airplanes passing. Label them as
you do other passing thoughts. Keep centering on the breathing, the slowing inflow,
outflow. In time the noises, too, will vanish. Whenever you find yourself "out
there," bring yourself gently back to "here" and to "right now."
When you have been able to accomplish this "no thought" for at least a half
hour, your breathing will have slowed to a point of almost indistinguishable rhythm, to
"it" breathing "you" and not the other way around.
I find it helps in all of this to keep a semi-smile on my face such as
that of the Buddha. It aids in brightening the mind, makes it happier.
At this point in your beginning meditation, if you have been at it a
half hour or longer, you may terminate it if you wish or continue as before. Or you can go
on to extend metta or loving-kindness. This meditation subject is good because it eliminates
hatred, envy, anger and self-pity. It accomplishes love for all, destruction of self,
sympathetic joy, and a good feeling for every being or non-being that lives or has left
this life. Your extension of loving-kindness should reach out to encompass the earth, the
universe. You will find it difficult in time, to snuff out the life of even the smallest
In extending loving-kindness it is of great importance that you first
love yourself. In the right way, of course. You accomplish this by ridding your
thoughts of all "impurities." Think to yourself "I will rid my mind of
every defilement: anger, hatred, ignorance, fear, greed, craving. I will make my mind
clear, fresh and pure. Like a transparent window is my mind. Then with my stain-free mind,
I pour out thoughts of loving-kindness, of love and of kindness."
Try to get a mental image of each one you are extending this
loving-kindness to. Get into that person. Feel his or her personality enter your
own being and direct your feeling straight into the mind and heart of that individual.
You will find in time, that there is a sort of mental telepathy emerging. You will feel
the warmth of response. Do not dwell on this. Go on to the next person and the next and
next. Bring forth all the warmth and kindness of your spirit and instill this into the
being or non-being it is directed toward. If you do this once or twice daily, your horizon
will widen. You will find yourself directing these vibrations to all beings and
non-beings who have entered your consciousness, without exceptions. This will include
brand-new acquaintances you hardly know. People you do not even know but see pass by
regularly or irregularly down the street. All who live. All who have died. Known and
unknown. All animals, insects, trees. Everything organic and inorganic. And in this
outflowing there will ride your self, vanishing into the all-inclusive.
When you have completed this meditation sitting, later try a walking
meditation, and, in this, think of the Four Noble Truths of the Buddha; that all beings
are born to suffer, etc. Then go on to find the "way out"; the way out and the
"end" of suffering. Find this secure path and incorporate it into your daily
life, and, this accomplished, find Nibbana right here on earth!
* * *
A Personal Observation
When I first came to Sri Lanka from America, I had just about given up
all hope of living. The doctors in America had provided me with maybe twenty-five
different drugs for a very bad heart condition and other ailments. We fled America, my
husband and I, to live out our lives among peaceful surroundings -- in the heart of
Buddha-land. Shortly after arrival, what with the long trip and thoughts of death, I truly
was dying. I had a myocardial infarction and was taken to the hospital. I found the
hospital conditions so deplorable, I felt it would be better to die in bed at home.
Consequently, I left the hospital. My husband had found a lovely home for us and there I
waited to die. After much pain and emotional upheaval my husband found an anagarika,
a Buddhist lay brother, who came to our home and performed a miracle, or to state it
better, pointed out to me the "path" that I shall follow for the rest of my days
here on earth. This monk-like follower of the Buddha, the Anagarika Tibbotuwawa,
instructed me in meditation.
We went through four stages and in time I threw out all drugs, and the
life "here and now" became clear and meaningful. Many strange things began to
occur in the course of meditation. First I began to feel that I was on another plane of
consciousness. I no longer had a self, sick or otherwise. I was at one with all, all of us
in a new world, with all non-beings too. I found that the "ego" that nearly
wrecked my life was now gone. I felt reborn, and extended my meditation to vibrations of
loving-kindness. Thought messages I call them. Then one morning a friend called from
America. On the phone he said that he had received my message. He was elated beyond
belief, thanked me and promised to come here in the near future. The strangest of all was
a telegram from my sister. She asked if we could accommodate her at our home in three
weeks. I nearly had a heart attack! My sister is seventy-eight years old. I had heard no
word from her for fifteen years. Yet I had been sending her "thought messages"
of loving-kindness, and her image was growing clearer and clearer -- even before arrival.
She was "with me" even before arrival. At age seventy-eight she had traveled
half-way around the world to see me. When she arrived she said she had had a compelling
urge to see me. We were both delighted and, to my amazement, she meditated each evening
with me and said she had never known such "peace and love" as she found in our
She could not remain with us, as I had hoped, but had responsibilities
at home that she felt better able to cope with now. She left, adding, "I have
promises to keep -- and many miles to go before I sleep."
These few experiences have been so uplifting that now, even though I never
proselytize, many young people come to me for instruction in meditation. Recently a
young man from Switzerland came to our home. He felt he was dying of rabies
("rabbits" he called it in broken English). I was so sure he did not have this
disease that I suggested that he meditate with me and Anagarika that day, and he seemed
pleased with the experience. Well, this young man came not only each evening, but also
every morning at 5:30 a.m. bringing fresh flowers for the Buddha. He left, after three
weeks of intensive meditation and instruction and reading of the Dhamma, well and happy
and full of ideas to help suffering humanity.
There are, of course, many ideas I have omitted which are advanced
procedures in insight meditation, the three stages which usually follow the concentration
on breathing. These are body, feelings, perceptions and consciousness, ultimately
expressing themselves in "the mind experiencing pure mind." I feel, however,
that the reader can find these steps in many publications that have been released on this
subject. If this booklet helps the beginner with just a little insight into the
"way" and the "why" of meditation, this will be my happiness.
* * *
Is Buddhism a Religion?
This is a question which is often asked. It really depends upon how one
defines religion. If it is thought of as a belief in a supreme being to whom one prays for
redemption, security, favors or relief from suffering, then, no, Buddhism is not a
The Buddha himself never claimed divinity -- only clear-sightedness and
purity of apprehension of truth through deepest intuition, leading to equanimity and
enlightenment. He was a great and rare individual but not a god. If some simple and
mistaken few have elevated him to godship and worship him with requests for favors and
special dispensations, this does not alter the situation one bit.
It seems that in these troubled times, as, indeed, since time
immemorial, man has felt the need to have a faith in a supreme being, one who could redeem
him from "sin" and relieve his suffering. This is a great fallacy. If indeed
there were such a being, why should he be asked to give redemption? Isn't it more
important for man to redeem himself? This is what the Buddha believed. Man, he said, is
born to suffering. Life is suffering. That is the first of the Four Noble Truths he
enunciates -- that there is suffering. In the Second Truth he points out that all
suffering has its origins which we must learn to understand, because this is the only way
we can arrive at the Third Truth, which is that cessation of this suffering can be
achieved. His Fourth Truth clarifies the way out from suffering via the Eightfold Path
which we will discuss later.
Therefore we ask, if Buddhism is not a religion, what then is it? Our
reply is: Buddhism is a way of life, a philosophy, a psychology, a way of thinking,
through which we may ourselves take on the responsibility of determining how our
life-bearing kamma (karma) will work out for us. Meditation is one of the procedures of
mental discipline and purification through which we may begin to learn such
Many young people have come to me saying, "How can I embrace
Buddhism without destroying my own beliefs and culture?" I tell the Christians among
them to think about the precepts of Christ. Are they so totally opposed to, and different
from, those of the Buddha? Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt not steal or commit adultery.
The ethical injunctions among the Ten Commandments -- are they not almost exactly the same
as the precepts of the moral life laid down by the Buddha (the Five Precepts)?
I tell them that the Dhamma, the sacred texts of Buddhism, are much
more voluminous and explicit than those of the Old and New Testaments and commentaries.
The Buddhist texts are, in fact, elevenfold as extensive and contain an enormous range of
wise teachings, none of them derogatory to the faiths of other creeds. He did not deny the
existence of deities, but he did reserve scepticism as to the infinity of their duration,
their omnipotency, their powers to help mankind in every kind of urgency. Have these gods
and messiahs, which we of Western faiths have been prone to believe in, been sublimely
successful in the mitigation of human suffering, hunger, sorrow and affliction? The answer
is open to doubt.
So to these young Christians I can say, "Believe in Christ if you
wish, but remember, Jesus never claimed divinity either." Yes, believe in a unitary
God, too, if you wish, but cease your imploring, pleading for personal dispensations,
health, wealth, relief from suffering. Study the Eightfold Path. Seek the insights and
enlightenment that come through meditative learnings. And find out how to achieve for
yourself what prayer and solicitation of forces beyond you are unable to accomplish.
There are many young people who believe that God answers their prayers.
Does he? Is prayer-answering the purpose of a supreme being? A young man recently came to
us asking for food and shelter. He was young, able-bodied, and, yes, intelligent. We
received him, fed him and gave him a room for several days. When it became apparent that
this fellow had no intention of ever leaving, we felt he should go off on his own. He was
highly indignant! When he left we asked him if he intended to work and earn enough to take
care of his own needs. He answered, "No, God will provide. If I follow his light,
that is enough. He will take care of me!"
If there is a God, why should he take care of able-bodied young men
simply because they have unreserved and total faith in him, when there are so many really
unfortunate, desolate people who really need help? Did God provide for the millions of
Jews in concentration camps who were slowly gassed to death en-masse, their agonies
of asphyxiation often lasting a full half-hour, before they were incinerated in German
ovens? Is he there offering respite each day to the millions who are dying of cancer and
other agonizing diseases all over the universe? Does he provide for all the masses of
people, victims of floods, disasters and earthquakes, who are homeless and starving daily
throughout the world?
Yes, believe in a God, if you will, I tell them, but don't ask, ask and
ask. Don't beg. Provide, as best you are able, for yourself first. Then fill your heart
and mind with love, with metta, and help, to the fullest possible extent, in the relief of
suffering among others. This is the answer I give them. But cease your petitioning, your
constant solicitation for private preference.
A Jewish girl from Israel came to meditate. She felt happy and calm in
meditation, but she was worried. She said, "I do not want to forget my heritage. I
was born in Jerusalem and am steeped in Jewish tradition." I answered her: "No
problem. When you finish meditating, say the 'Shmah'!" This is the ancient prayer of
the Jews to be said each morning of their lives and on their deathbeds. It consists of the
words, "Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one." This, to those of
the Jewish faith, may be a solacing thought, one that may yield them comfort, I told her.
There is nothing in Buddhism, as a matter of fact, denying the right to believe in God if
you so wish. Yet it must be pointed out that Buddhism places deityship on quite a
different plane than monotheistic and polytheistic religions do. Still, with all your
beliefs intact, you can benefit from much that Buddhism teaches, for instance from
Buddhist meditation. We are all inter-related in common suffering. Even the word religion,
derived from Latin, means joined or linked. Just as the word yoga also means the
same, united. Whether this is expressed through a belief in a deity or not is of
less importance than the fact that we recognize and accept the wonder of our common
interrelationship. Certainly, I told her, there is nothing in the practice of Judaism that
denies man's common relationship. The young lady was satisfied. As far as I know she sill
meditates daily and recites the "Shmah."
Sometimes it is said that the Buddhists worship idols. Why all the
incense, oil lamps, flowers set before Buddha-images? You must understand, I tell these
young people, that the Buddhists are merely expressing their reverence for a great man of
overwhelming vision and insight, one of the wisest teachers that ever lived, a man who
laid out a whole way of life an a means of alleviating sorrow, strife and suffering. When
they bow to him with hands clasped before them they do so in reverence and worship. But
the meaning they attach to "worship" is not that of Western religionists. They
ask nothing for their separate selves, no intercession of gods, no personal favors. Why is
that? Because the Buddhist, neither in his life practice nor his philosophy, believes
himself to be a separate being, a singular self, apart from others. Therefore, lacking
separate personhood, there is no one for whom preference is sought. For the
Buddhist "worship," then mean praise, reverence, a desire to imitate and be like
the Buddha, to follow his ways and show appreciation for his teachings. He offers them no
dispensations or favors, only a body of wisdom contained in the Dhamma which, if they but
apply it to themselves, amounts to self-dispensation. In essence this means dispensing
with all vanity, clinging, attachments, greed and ignorance, which may yet hamper them
from being like the Buddha and aspiring to the perfection of being, which he in his life
attained when reaching Nibbana here and now!
The great American statesman Thomas Paine said, "My mind is my
church." In this statement he reiterates the belief of the Buddha. Buddhists do not
believe it is necessary to have a middleman intercede between them and the perfection of
the Master they chose to emulate and be like. In Buddhism there is no need for priests,
ministers and preachers to pray for them in churches or temples. The Buddhist monk
teaches, not preaches. He teaches man to find his way. He teaches purity of mind, and
compassion, and love for all beings. He does not perform marriage service, but devotes his
life only to teaching and scholarship and study, and to continuing self-purification
through meditation, so that he can be an example to others.
Who may become a Buddha? And how does one become one? These are
questions frequently asked me. The answers are that one has to enroll or join nothing,
sign no document, be initiated by no baptism, nor disavow any other belief. All he has to
do is to begin to live as Buddhists live, to find inspiration in the Buddha, to like and
reverence his teachings, to begin to try to follow his Eightfold Path and, through
meditation, to seek to gain merit and purity. To aspire, in fact, to become a Buddha
himself! For Buddhahood is not a limited society. It is open to all. Many have attained
it. Even the Buddha himself, in previous lives (so goes one of the legends built around
him) chose to deny himself release through Nibbana and chose rebirth so that he might stay
on and teach others.
Now let us examine the Buddha's remedy for the ending of suffering. A
friend of mine once said, with respect to this, "It is all very simple: practice right
thought, right speech and right action! Very good and very important.
However, not so fast, my friend! All of the Eightfold Path is necessary, not just the
small part of it you mention. It is all beautifully interrelated. There must be right
understanding with right speech. There must be right action. There must be
right effort. And with the right effort must follow right livelihood.
And for all of these steps to work, think of them as steps. You don't get very far
just moving up one step and remaining there. You have to combine them, join them, link
them, and finally, climax them with still one more step to reach the top. And that
step is right mindfulness.
How beautifully all these hang together like pearls on a necklace. But
now think for a moment about what is meant by "right": that is to say, the
rightness of speech, thought, action. Few pause to think what "right" means
within this context. Does it mean right as opposed to wrong? Perhaps it does. And then,
again, perhaps it doesn't. How many of us are able to discriminate at every juncture of
our lives what is right and what is wrong? Does right, then, mean appropriate? Appropriate
action, appropriate speech, etc.? Appropriate means suitable, suitable for the occasion.
Is that always so easy to determine? What, then, does the Buddha's use of the word right
come down to? Does it not come down to the fact that he is pointing out that there is
choice, and that we have choice, that we can go this way or go that way, and that
it is up to us and not him, and no god or supreme being, to determine our way? Is he not
saying that this choice or volition amounts to our own kamma? And that while a lot of it
is predetermined through our past lives or genetically, however you want to think of it,
we can still alter, correct, change, refine re-aim this kamma, change its course? We and
nobody else! And does not all of this point back to such qualities of action,
speech, and thought, as are characterized as greedy, selfish, hateful, hostile, hurtful?
As opposed to such qualities as generousness, selflessness, lovingness, kindliness,
helpfulness? Do you not see that the Buddha is telling us to look behind words and not to
accept them for their face value but for their internal, shall we say nuclear, meanings?
So we return again to the question as to whether Buddhism is a
religion. In the sense that it offers us a moral code helping to conjoin us in the living
together of a better life, yes, it is a religion. For that is the inner or nuclear
meaning of religion -- relinking, rejoining. But if Buddhism is taken to imply
belief in a supreme being who rules the universe and can be bribed to alter his decisions
by our prayers and solicitations for personal preference, it is not a religion. And this
Buddhism does not do. Well, then, the Christian may argue, man without God, without
conscience, without a ruler of the universe, will revert to bestiality. Is this not like
saying a being can't exist without a taskmaster? Are we then children? So weak that we
can't exist without being "told" what we can and cannot do? How can we justify
The answers should be obvious. Man can rely on himself. Man can
train his mind to right thinking, not because thereby he will be saved by a righteous God,
but because right thinking will lead him on to the path of final liberation from
suffering, which consists of right moral conduct, right meditation and right wisdom.
Now look at Buddhism. Does it not look up to you rather than
down to you, treat you as an adult rather than a child, not demand and command, but
patiently teach and instruct what practically amounts to the same thing? The Buddha states
that we are heirs to our kamma, that we make it, form it, and that what we do in this
existence does affect our lives in the next one. However, in Buddhism, there is no need of
beating our breasts and heeding authoritarian demands that we repent. We can rise up out
of our sloth and torpor, out of evil and ugliness, by "following the path." If
it were true that without a vengeful God man would be less than human, how do we justify
the existence for thousands of years of Buddhists living in peace and love with each
Christ and Buddha were alike in many ways. It is not my intention to
disparage anyone's belief in Christ. Christ said, "Love thy neighbor as
thyself." Buddha said, "Show compassion and loving-kindness to all beings."
God said to the Jews, "Do not unto others that which you would not do unto
yourself." This is what Christ later said in reverse, positively, but with the same
meaning. It was Moses who interpreted the words of God to his people, but for that reason
they did not clothe him in divinity, nor did he do so himself. Where the Buddhists and
Christians part company is the Christ's followers accorded him divinity, whereas Buddha's
disciples accord him reverence as a great being.
* * *
Why Is There Suffering in the World?
Buddha had taught (and I refer to The Buddha, for there have
been many and you, yourself, may have the aspiration to one day be one), that it is man's
clinging to the idea of separate selfness which is the cause of his suffering. Implicit in
separate selfhood is egotism and craving. This is illusion, the basic illusion. The man
who "prays to God" expresses craving. He is a clinger. He wishes something for self,
is egotistic. Even the idea of a God expresses the thought of an extension of his egotism
into a future life -- in heaven or wherever. The prayer craves for a beautiful painfree
future or continuation of the present. In return he promises his God to be of good
Buddha teaches that beauty is fleeting, life is impermanent and
transitory, that pain and sorrow are an outcome of the craving egotistic self. That
craving is our suffering. Craving implies cravenness. To be craven is to fear.
Fearfulness is suffering. Life is fearful.
There is suffering in the world because the fearful, fearing self
continues in its illusion of lonely separateness. The separate self clings to its fears,
its self-seeking, its pleading, hoping, craving. "Give me," it implores its God,
"help me." What is the Buddha's answer to this? Does he not say, "Cleanse
yourself of the self-idea, of its greed, hatred, ignorance"? And what is this
ignorance? Is it not our ignoring, our refusal to see the basic illusion of selfhood?
We finally return to meditation again, to why we meditate. Meditation
is a way, the Buddha's way of self-cleansing, self-elimination, of freeing the mind of its
attachments to the impermananent and illusory. Through meditation we learn to detach the
self from its assumptions, to realize that ego is substance-less, to free our mind from
its defilements and illusions; to approach, through wisdom and compassion, the ultimate
cessation of suffering which comes with Nibbana, the utter abandonment of our selfhood. In
this no eternity is sought, no endless continuity. And no annihilation. For, since there
is no one, what is there to annihilate? Or to eternalize?
In a way of thinking, is not this a kind of sublime mysticism? A creed
or belief that yields unseeking equanimity, quietude and the end of suffering? Since all
being, in the end, is mystery; since trembling , transitory being is but an
illusory drop of water in a depthless ocean, why not accept it as so?
Those who crave for and pray to gods often achieve thereby a kind of
mental purification. Even the prayers of sceptics often achieve the same result. If prayer
brings relief and quietude, remission of suffering, it cannot be bad. But what if the
relief is unlasting? Apart from the notion that prayer implies a dependency on external or
supernatural authority, which I have no reason to bring into question, it definitely is
based on the idea of a self as opposed to an other, and of bringing the two together in a
sort of bargaining process. But what if we can accept the idea that there is no self to
begin with and therefore no one to do the bargaining? I am reminded, in conclusion, of a
A Christian missionary found a Chinese priest chanting in a temple.
When the Chinese had finished, the missionary asked him: "To whom were you
"To no one," replied the Chinese priest.
"Well, what were you praying for?" the missionary
"Nothing," said the Chinese,
The missionary turned away, baffled. As the was leaving the temple the
Chinese added, kindly: "And there was no one praying, you know!"
I have learned that through meditation one comes to appreciate vistas
of truth in no other way attainable; and that if one does not come to understand totally
and unquestionably the fullest depths of meaning possible as to the causes of suffering,
one does at least arrive by painful experience and mindfulness to comprehension of its
imponderability and immensity. I see it in a personal way, in my seventh decade, in severe
and frequent anginas, in arthritic pains which make sittings so difficult that I must
frequently change positions during meditation, or do standing meditation. I see it in my
deafened and daily worsening hearing, the dimming of my eyes and in the realization that
in the course of minding my breath and giving consideration to the dissolution of every
component of my body, anicca, impermanence, is the source out of which this
suffering or dukkha flows. Out of this impermanence, too, I sense the vastness of
the illusion that we possess anything life abiding, continuous and distinguishable
selfhood and that the epitome of suffering arises from this basic illusion -- that there
is a "one," a "self" which is suffering or sufferable.
The facts of suffering, its truth, and the facts of impermanence as
well, are widely recognized by most religions. All accept the basic tragical quality of
life. Where Buddhism goes forward from the rest is in the maintenance and espousal of the
theme of no-self. Life, death, impermanence and suffering then become but a process in
which, in an ultimate and fundamental sense, there is no personal participation. From this
notion comes release, emancipation and enlightenment. As phenomena we may continue to go
on until the ultimate collapse of our bodies and death overtakes us. But since no self is
any longer engaged in the process, it becomes depersonalized. We are no longer subjects or
even objects of calamity, despair, disease. Disturbance, dejection, worry, dread, anguish,
decay, enfeeblement, senility, no longer concern us. Serenity and equanimity come with a
new wisdom reflecting our detachment not alone from these negative emotions but also from
the positive ones such as longing, craving, hoping, desiring, wishing, clinging. Because,
whether we realize and attain the positive results or goals sought through these emotions,
or do not, there is continued suffering. We suffer if we fail to attain them and there is
disappointment. If we do attain them, they are impermanent, suffer their own kind of
decay, and out of this loss we suffer as well.
The goal, in the end, becomes the even-minded depersonalized middle
course wherein irritation, aversion, uncertainty vanish. Hate and animosity become
impossible. One is neither submissive nor rebellious. We transcend the need for personal
love or hate. Quietude comes to us. Release. These are the goals of insight or vipassana
meditation, whose aim is release from suffering. How close we come to realizing them will
depend on the quality of those we seek out to teach us and on our own assiduity in the
mindfulness with which we seek, through our meditation, to arrive at the other shore.